There have been a lot of ‘borders’ drawn about this personality disorder and whether or not it should be considered a personality disorder at all. Some would argue that the characteristics associated with this disorder are conditioned into the person through external stimuli and thus a personality disorder. Yet others would use that same argument to suggest that its not because the characteristics are already imbedded within the individual and influenced by external influence.
What is Meant by, ‘Borderline?’
Borderline refers to the condition of being neither here nor there (personally) on any one topic or thing. The individual will place that responsibility upon those whom they associate with instead. Such individuals lack self-empowerment, which is why they seek to obtain it through others.
Another reason has to do with a person with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) will tend to also be wishy-washy when it comes to violence as well. Meaning that a person with BPD will resort to violence if others engage in it first or show signs that it will gain favor from others in some way. Yet normally may not even be a violent or even aggressive person–this is what ‘Borderline’ means and refers to.
Inner Aspects of Borderline Personality Disorder
A person with BPD or emotionally unstable personality disorder is solely reliant upon peer influence. Above all others, those with this particular condition are more prone to peer pressure and easily manipulated by peer influence.
I can provide several examples as to why I believe it is driven by an individual’s need to feed off acceptance. For one, everything they do is completely based on that fact. Which is why they tend to resemble that of Sociopathy, Psychopathy, Antisocial Personality Disorder, and even Manic Depression. They will quickly convert to anything that is perceived to be the “acceptable norm.”
Holding true even if such things are in direct violation of personal beliefs, moral codes, and the law. To put it bluntly, they will commit any act, absorb any idea or emotionally connect with what is in trend at the moment. For instance, if they see something on TV or in a movie that strikes them as something that will gain popularity they will pursue it (even if dangerous to him or herself or others). Such external influences can pretty much come from any source (people, movies, TV shows, video games, etc.). Therefore the sole responsibility and fault lies with the individual and not the source (as some would like to argue).
Personally I believe we all naturally gravitate towards a connection with other selves. But someone with BPD experiences a much stronger pull towards that connection and perverse it into an impulsive need. Thus rationalizing it (subconsciously) that their very livelihood relies on it. Basically someone with BPD is an inverted Narcissist.
Instead of everything evolving around oneself, a person with BPD revolves their self-importance in those they associate with. Thus leaching off the energy emitted by such associations. This is what I referred to when speaking of “Borrowed Strength” in previous articles. The attitude and willingness to readily accept anything for the sake of fitting in with what is perceived to be the majority or more powerful. Even if they rationally know its irrational, damaging and/or dangerous.
Signs of Borderline Personality Disorder
A) Pertinent Presence of a “Void”–The base reason for someone with BPD’s need to be accepted is the big void they are trying to fill within themselves. Because they rely and feed this void, it continually keeps consuming their mental and emotional energy. Leaving hardly anything for oneself. So it is for this reason why they resort to filing it with the company, acceptance and association of others. People often describe it as a feeling or sensation of “Emptiness.” Remember that this sign is the core reason for all others that follow.
B) Extreme Fluctuation in Relationships–As stated before, they will often readily adopt any ideology, methodology and influential manipulation of others. No matter how bizarre, irrational or extreme such things are in nature. This is why you may notice someone with BPD bouncing from one type of person, group or idea to another. Even if this includes a complete contrast or dramatic difference.
C) Impulsive–As clearly indicated, this type of individual will jump at any opportunity to feed that void using the prescribed methods. Which can be expressed in all areas in their lives. Some of which are benign or more of an annoyance than anything else. However, they do possess some dangerous impulses. These include financial splurges, careless sexual encounters, high volume consumption and intake of foods and substances, and even vehicular and pedestrian navigation.
D) Lost Sense of the Self–Because they freely and impulsively convert themselves to others, other’s ideas and emotional states they themselves eventually lose sight of who they are. Resulting in loss of identity. Such a feeling experienced in the magnitude of that which they do is like knowing you are going to die and you are unsure of what’s going to happen after. Such terror is the way they perceive the result of their own devices. Yet they feel powerless and do not know how to fix it.
E) Emotional Instability–Since they have been letting others tell them how they should think, feel and act they lose the confidence to experience any emotion produced by him or herself. This becomes a scary thing. Much like how some people freak out when they are left in silence with only their own thoughts to keep them entertained.
Usually when one feels this way, they react in many different ways. Much of which are very similar to what you would expect from one who is frightened, irritated, frustrated and angered. They can become dramatically episodic, uneasy, experience anxiety hikes, and act out in aggression. The duration of such episodes will vary from moments, minutes, hours to the rare days (which is why it is often confused for Manic Depression or Post-traumatic Stress Disorder).
F) Intense Anger–Usually when one becomes emotionally confused we often tend to respond by lashing out of anger. However, someone with BPD’s level of anger is magnified in many ways. 1) either it is justified and so they lack the need to regulate it, 2) they may become confused because they are forced to display emotions and ideas that are unique to them thus they will respond with inappropriate anger, or 3) they may just simply have trouble controlling that anger in general. Usually expressed by frequent or reoccurring displays, seeming to be angry at a constant, or engaged in altercations frequently.
G) Paranoia–The paranoia experienced by someone with BPD is based on being accepted by others. So their primary fear is that of being alienated, exiled and isolated (or feeling as such). The paranoia comes in with the self-generated belief that that is waiting around every corner. So quite plainly, they constantly worry about what others think of them. The constant stress of this state of existence is rather tiresome and taxing. Which is why they feel the need to latch onto the strength of others (so they can ‘survive’).
H) Abandonment Issues–Individuals with BPD quite often will go to great measures to avoid feeling abandoned. Sometimes such abandonment is real, sometimes fabricated, and sometimes self manifested. (Considering that their very existence relies on feeling accepted.) Imagine how they would feel if they were to be abandoned or feel that they were. These are some of those people who seem to stick with abusive relationships or live with damaging situations. Even if they have other more healthy relationships, they may remain loyal (to some degree) to that unhealthy one.
I) Suicidal– Most people with BPD when abandoned or feel that they have been abandoned will resort to using suicide to manipulate. This is usually an empty threat or deliberate failed attempts–a last ditch effort. Used to get those who abandoned them to reconnect and coddle their needs. Sometimes this comes in the form of self-mutilation and self-torture. But then there are those who fall so deep inside their own created void that they feel there is no other way out than in death.
Conclusion
The hopes of writing these articles are to guide you into noticing the pattern that reoccur within Borderline Personality Disorder (and any other for that matter). Everything is solely based upon feeding their need to fill their void with acceptance. Which is why their peers impulsively influence them. And such influence can come from any source and in any form. It matters not, for as long as it provides them with the fuel they need to thrive they care not.
