Navigating Life With Emotional Intelligence (Surviving, Striving, Thriving)

I like to use this coaching model for my clients who are visual learners; it takes the client on a journey through the 3 Phases of Life. For clarification purposes, whenever I talk about going through phases, or transitioning I like to be very honest with my client and let them know transitioning from any place or phase to another requires sacrifice. Maybe you will have to give something up, but the return on investment of time, energy, blood, sweat, and tears is going to be more than worth it at the end of the journey. Transitioning through this model will help clients to become self-sufficient and create a value system that can withstand the test of adversity.

The Survivor is someone who does not feel empowered to make change, or connection with their true self. He/she might get stuck when it comes to facing challenges, feel helpless, lack confidence in decision-making, afraid to stand up for themselves, etc. What does it look like to be stuck in survival mode? This person may have a history of learned helplessness, family history of perpetual traumatic experiences through generations, addicted to drugs and feel like “the high” is better than working to get out of survival mode.

The Striver is someone who recognizes that they are in survival mode and wants more out of life. He/she is at the most pivotal point in the 3 Phases of Life because with recognition comes the fact that the client will now have to decide if they are going to take action, or remain in survival mode. If the client decides at this time they would like to take action and do something about their predicament, but they are lacking a solid value system it is likely the client will get discouraged and revert back to old habits that may prevent them from transitioning to the Thriving Phase.

The Thriving Phase is where you want to be in this Coaching Model. He/she is someone who knows their purpose in life, has a strong sense of belonging, trusts that those people whom they surrounds themselves by have their best interests at heart, sees the opportunity within every challenge, is at peace with themselves and decisions they have made in the past. You may have noticed someone who in the Thriving Phase of Life by their high energy, ultra-positivity, or their happy-go-lucky demeanor. They are typically the people you meet and the first thought in your mind is “I’ll have some of whatever they’re having.”

Now that we have discussed the model the question you should be asking is how do I develop a system of core values that can withstand a test of hardship? I would invite you to get a firm understanding of Emotional Intelligence (EI) and how it can help you with establishing boundaries in your relationships.

Next, I would invite you to do the following:

1. Take powerful action (decide right now that you will not stay in survival mode regardless of what may occur in your life you will always strive to do better),

2. Make strong decisions and stick with them (if you say you are “done with… ” make sure you stick to your word),

3. Develop a clear life vision (what is the BIG Goal? Who’s coming with you? Who are you leaving behind?),

4. Create a value system that will withstand the stormy weather life throws our way because at some point we all face adversity.

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